


Motions

by vexutopia



Series: Gideon’s Nepotism [5]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alpha Aaron Hotchner, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Bisexual Aaron Hotchner, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Original Character(s), Protective Aaron Hotchner, Protective BAU Team (Criminal Minds), Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Fluff, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:36:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29508417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexutopia/pseuds/vexutopia
Summary: The aftermath of Reid's experiences with Robin Carter.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: Gideon’s Nepotism [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047139
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Motions

**Author's Note:**

> Reid recovers in the hospital. Hotch talks to Morgan.

“What’s on your mind?” Hotch asked Reid, who lay in his hospital bed with his hands on his stomach.

“Gideon.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Reid just shook his head. Hotch could hardly stand to look at the various cuts scattered here and there across the arms of his subordinate. Reid was strong, far stronger than many people gave him credit for, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his points of weakness. Thinking of Gideon while also remembering Robin Carter was one of those points. The case was solved, those close to victims received justice by seeing the man who hurt their dear ones put away, but no amount of justice could bring anyone back. Reid also thought of Marvin. Hotch’s hand reached out to take hold of his forearm. The touch was heavy and familiar. Reid shut his eyes and squeezed his fists as best he could.

“When I’m better, I’d like to visit him.”

“Gideon?”

“No. Robin.”

Hotch bit his cheek so he wouldn’t leap from his seat and demand an answer. Reid was an oddity. Hotch had become aware of that in their years of working together. He’d forgiven Robin in the same manner he’d forgiven Tobias. Charles and Raphael were different people to Reid. Tobias was just the scared, innocent young man suspended between ordering both his father and God. In some sense, Robin was the same. He was afraid of his father even though the man was dead. He still strived to please him. He still sought his praise and approval. Reid continued to seek the same praise from Gideon despite the abuse and consistent gaslighting. 

“You haven’t asked me why,” Reid noted.

“Do you want me to?” Hotch asked, “Of course, I want to know. But will you tell me?”

“I just want to know why he didn’t kill me. He stayed with the other victims while they died. He should have done all he could to get back to me. He wanted to watch me die. That’s where the high came from.” Reid tapped fingers against the bed, “The only explanation would be the notion that he plans to come back from me.”

“I’d never let him get to you.”

“I know. I’m still curious about why he would be so willing to leave me alone.”

“Do you think it’s a tactic?”

Reid looked at him.

“His way of trying to get you to think of only him.” Hotch explained, “It makes sense. He tortured you. His intentions were never to kill you in the first place. Did he say something to imply that he might come after you?”

“I don’t remember. Maybe.”

Hotch said nothing, so in turn, Reid was quiet as well. The sliding door alerted them. Morgan walked in holding a bag from a takeout place nearby. He reached inside and handed Reid a smaller bag. Inside were waffle fries, and with a soft smile, Reid began eating them. Morgan said nothing, and still, Reid scooted over and made room for him on the bed. Morgan hadn’t any feelings for Reid, and it would be a cold day in Hell before either of them had any sort of attraction towards one another. Reid was the type of man to go for older guys. He liked the sort of men who didn’t mind crying with him or listening to him ramble. This was not that Morgan wasn’t emotional or available. Morgan just wasn’t the sort of lover who liked to be vulnerable. Sharing emotions would be like pulling teeth, and as much as Reid loved Morgan as a friend, waking up beside him in bed just sounded odd. Oddly enough, Reid was Morgan’s type. He was gentle and sweet, and not to mention reliable. Reid was the sort of person who Morgan could see coming to him for comfort, which he would have been more than willing to provide. However, the two of them valued their friendship way too much. Hotch could not help but be jealous.

He and Rossi were good friends. He could share a drink with the older gentleman and listen to records in his parlor, but he could not see himself cuddling up with Rossi in any manner. Even if it were some freak situation with the two of them having to compromise, Hotch still would not be comfortable with so much as a hug from Rossi. He could hug JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia. Morgan could get a handshake if the day went well. Hotch was just opposed to the idea of touching someone despite the times he shook hands with a detective or held a bleeding victim. Hotch always had to wash his hands thirty times just to get the lingering feeling of someone’s touch away. It was a feeling he could only describe as being akin to the tingling of a limb falling asleep. It was too overwhelming to be touched by someone. Reid could touch people he loved. He could cuddle up with people who he trusted. Hotch recalled a time Garcia accompanied them on a case. Reid had fallen asleep beside her and allowed his head to topple over and fall onto her shoulder. She’d been honored, but she was busy. Garcia knew that sometimes Reid needed touch to help p him to stay grounded, so she guided his head to her lap and used one hand to type while the other lay flat against his back. Hotch remembered how Gideon stared at the two of them. Hotch wished he knew what had been going on back then.

Right now he wanted nothing more than to be in Morgan’s place. Touching Reid was different from other people. Hotch didn’t feel the need to wash his touch away. He wondered for a moment if Reid ever wanted to wash away Gideon’s touch. Knowing the genius, it was probably the first thing he did whenever he was alone. 

“Hotch? Are you alright?”

Morgan’s voice alerted him. Hotch hadn’t even realized how strongly he was clutching Reid’s arm. The skin beneath his hold was reddened when he let go, and Reid turned to look at him. He was worried about his superior. The tender skin of his arm was an afterthought. Hotch nodded and wiped both hands over his eyes as if to emphasize his exhaustion.

“You should sleep.” Reid whispered as he patted Hotch’s hand, “You’ll wear yourself out.”

“Will you be okay?”

Reid nodded. He seemed certain, so hotch stood and walked over to the couch in the room. He laid down and used his suit jacket as a pillow. Morgan and Reid were able to sit in silence. Morgan slowly finished his burger while Reid munched at the fries that had been given to him. When Reid fell asleep, Morgan allowed his friend to rest his head on his shoulder. The room was silent, but it was the content sort of silence that never troubled or bothered Morgan. It was an hour or so later when Hotch woke up. Seeing his superior wake up was odd to Morgan, even if it weren’t meant to be. Hotch’s joints snapped and popped the way Morgan expected Rossi’s to. Hotch rose from the couch and walked over to the bed, where he and Morgan shared a small nod. The two of them had been close, once upon a time, before a friendship was established between Morgan and Reid. Hotch never felt bitter about it. He never felt as if Reid had taken his place as Morgan’s friend. The two agents just paired together well, in a platonic sense. 

“Do you usually only need an hour?” Morgan asked.

“I couldn’t sleep knowing he might need me.”

“I’ve got him, Hotch.”

“Do you think Reid would have hidden the fact of his sexuality from us forever? Do you wonder how things would have turned out had Robin never got to him?”

“I’m always thinking about the alternatives. I wish that freak never got to Reid. I’d also just hope the kid would tell us when he was comfortable. Reid tells me a lot, I’m sure he tells you more, and he’d let us know when he was ready.”

“When did you know?”

“He came to me one night. Said you broke up with him.”

“What?” Hotch gasped, a little shocked.

He didn’t mind that Reid had told Morgan. It wasn’t like their relationship belonged solely to Hotch. Reid could tell whoever he pleased. Hotch just never expected him to want anyone to know. The team was aware that Reid and Hotch had been pining after each other for quite some time, but there had never been any hints of it getting past a few timid smiles and the admission of attraction. Knowing that Morgan knew that he’d broken up with Reid made him feel guilty, even if there was nothing to feel guilty over.

“He said that you didn’t want him to devote his entire life to you. He understood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed.”

“Morgan.”

“I get it.” Morgan sighed, “I understand why you broke up with him. He’s young. You’re older. You don’t want to see him throw his whole life away. You’re a man made for marriage, Aaron Hotchner. Reid, I think, mentioned once that he never saw himself getting married.”

“He did?”

“Not because he didn’t want to. It was just something he never expected himself to do. We’ve talked about it a few times. He told me a few years back, when Gideon was still around, that he’d like to be with you. He’d been drunk, and I was shocked, so I never mentioned it again. He doesn’t even know he said it to me. I knew something was going on between him and Gideon.”

Hotch said nothing.

“It’s not your place to tell me, I know. I also know that he’s told you something he’s never told anyone else.” Morgan looked at him, “I also know that you love him. And he loves you. More than anything.”

Hotch remained quiet. He took Reid’s hand in his, and even in his sleeping state, Reid enclosed his fingers around Hotch’s and held on tight. Hotch breathed out steadily. How could he have been so unaware of what was clearly right in front of him? Almost losing Reid had felt like someone placed a ton of weight on his shoulders and refused to let up. Getting him back felt like the universe had given him another chance. He could look past what had happened before. He could forget about Gideon, Amar, and Sean, even if that one hurt the most. Reid loved him and only him, and Hotch understood that now. Bringing him back into Jack’s life would no doubt be something the child would enjoy. Jack liked Reid’s company anyway. When he chattered off Reid listened. He’d fold his hands and nod along, and sometimes he’d even comment and get Jack talking more. Reid knew what it felt like for someone to snap at him to stay quiet. William didn't like it when he talked too much, and Reid always had to be careful with his words around his mother. Even the team, though jokingly, would groan as he rambled off. Reid never quieted Jack. He never shushed him. He would even draw his attention away from his work whenever the child needed someone to listen. Reid never wanted Jack to feel like he didn’t have a voice. Hotch felt like an idiot. How did he not see that Reid had loved Jack? How could he be blind to the fact that his son loved Reid?

Hotch looked from Reid’s sleeping face and noticed Morgan looking at him. The younger agent looked at his superior as if he knew everything about him. Hotch felt like a bug under a microscope. It wasn’t common for him to feel such a way. Hotch hated that Morgan knew things that other people couldn’t pick up on. Hotch could admit that Morgan was a better profiler than him. These days it seemed everyone was. Neither of them said anything.


End file.
